What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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