is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sorry about my life...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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