woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
