Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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