just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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