This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
