we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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