So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
