her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
