I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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