Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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