Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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