i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
