i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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