This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
