I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Me too!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize