I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
