Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
