pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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