just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
