I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
