sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
