quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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