Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
