I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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