I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The air was thick with penises
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
