a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
