When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
