Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Screwed.edu
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
there is puke in my bra ... again
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