There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
be right there i have to get my cape
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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