my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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