Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize