Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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