my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
