I feel like I'm in dance class right now
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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