Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
im having a threesome with these popsicles
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
