Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
