i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
