If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
