At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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