it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
