why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
