I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
