Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
