You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
