Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
