I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
