Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
