aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
