just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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