My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
