I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
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Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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