after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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