Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
