I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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