arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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