I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
