I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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