That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize