I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
