Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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