This girl is more easily done than said...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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