Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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