Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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